When I woke up this morning while I was dealing with my routine tasks,I was checking my daily Facebook posts. One of my beloved friends posted a message from eksisozluk.The topic of the message can be the topic of another day. But what I would like to explain here is a sentece which affected me deeply. It was actually denotation of something I had identified earlier but couldn’t find the appropriate sentence. It was three years since my ten years marriage had ended. I was travelling to get the trainings of my current job in my first year. Therefore I didn’t bother to have a look at the concepts such as man – woman relationships, men’s point of views, women’s place in the world of relationships. I had to look at myself first. Who was I? Whom did I want to be? What belonged to me and what did not belong to me? What part of my life was mine and what part was the others‘? I had to answer these questions to some extent so that as new Aysun I would be able to know what I wanted in my private life. The second year new Aysun started to sprout. Then she needed to be taken care of and grow. Sun, water, air, love, peace, joy, essential awareness and being yourself… I found the significant part of those within me and for more I was asking myself how it could be better than that. When I found the real me then it was the turn of the fact that I shouldn’t be alone. I was surrounded by the feeling that I had to share the magnificent part of this life I had discovered with others and expand it. Every morning I woke up, I woke up with the feeling that today was that day and I still wake up like this. Later I began to look at the men interested in me and the men in whom I was interested to see what and to what extent I was able to live. This period lasted very long as per my consideration. There were two experiences where I had deep feelings. I lived the same thing in both, as if there were two different people. One who said he was ready to live this life with its great dynamics and what we shared was unique and the other who said that he was afraid that it would get deeper and he had to run away immediately. Unfortunately they both represented the same person. The same was in most of my observations apart from those. Women with career and lonely men running away from commitment. Couples who lost joy in their marriage and made children to find it yet couldn’t find it. Relationships where communication came to the endpoint, people who continued due to the fear of being lonely.
Then I started to think. I tried to understand today’s generation’s relationship world from this perspective. What happened and when did it happen that the relationships became like that?
They were full of such models asking you to give yourself up and so emptied that noone wanted to believe something else was possible. Forget about believing, they wouldn’t even have courage to try. In fact it is very simple. When I read today’s anectode I found the sentence of this picture.“ There is a generation outside considering the attachment as shackles on their feet.“ Then I understood that it wasn’t about the world of relationships.If someone doesn’t feel free inside, they cannot feel free with someone else either. Someone who cannot manage to be happy on their own cannot manage to be happy with someone and create space either. They would think that person is the reason of happiness and wealth. In fact a person can live all these flawlessly. People might have given up themselves, might be living someone else’s lives, the fear of what others would say or the fact that they are so strong that they make us do the things we do not want to by demonstrating the fears within us… Missing points in the learning processes which the systems call as mandatory. Actually it is as simple as Stefano D‘ Anna explains.
“ In ordinary people’s eyes, even though they seem brave and risk – taking, if they proceed with the guidance of integrity and strong belief, the consciouness salvation will always accompany them. Nothing can attack this person with this trueness and make fail them. In all conditions even in the most hopeless moments they always find a solution. Situations and conditions always prove them right as they are the solution.”
I hope that one day you will realise that you only have power to make everything better for yourselves.
“How is better than this possible? “ One of the mantra questions of Access Consciousness modellings. Maybe one day I will have the chance to tell you this. 🙂 What else is possible? ( Another mantra questions of ours )